b b b b b bad

Today I am not at work and it's not night. Seems like an unlikely time to post if you go by the pattern of the rest of what I've put up. But the other day when I was talking about how I love reading my blogs, my friend Beth said "you should blog, Emily." I told her I didn't think I could put up much worth reading and that I didn't like being in the spotlight, but apparently that was a lie because here I am again.

I think what would help this be worth looking at is pictures. So let's try one.

This picture is super nerdy, but also, I think, fun. Paul and I had an incredibly nerdy and fun time on this thing in Roatan. Underneath the picture in our album it says "b b b b b bad" which Paul said made things even worse. But seriously, aren't we? We took this thing all over the island of Roatan visiting things like deserted beaches, roadside mango trees, touristy ziplines and an iguana farm. I loved it.

That was before our anniversary. Now we are lightyears (2 weeks) past our first year, and life is
good. And that is definitely worth blogging about, right? : )

Sunday Nap

Wow, it's been just about exactly a year since my last post. Something about fall that makes me want to be reflective and eloquent, I guess. In a years time I've had a lot to reflect on, too. But what I wanted to say today was that it's extremely qu*** (real as can be nursing superstition) on the unit, and I was sitting here reading and resting but feeling a little guilty about not doing my job. So I went around to check on my patients and all of them are peacefully sleeping! That has never happened to me before. In the hospital, you hope for healing, but it is really rare to get sleep. And for 5 people at once to be snoozing away in the middle of the day is just about unheard of. I realized, it is the sabbath. How wonderful. So I quietly came back and sat down here for my own rest. Praise God for giving some sick and sore people and their tired nurse some peace today.

White rice

Tonight, for dinner, I am eating white rice. And that's it. Just rice. And I don't mind. I'm actually looking forward to it. These are the kinds of things single people can eat. I don't think I would tolerate it if someone was cooking dinner for me and we were having white rice. I would be like, rice? with what? But since no one is asking me that, I don't have to worry about them. I can enjoy my white rice by itself in peace. My parents tell me that rice is the only food I would eat when I was a baby. So tonight I am returning to the tyrrany of infancy. It's all about me tonight folks. Me and rice. Mmmm.

Falling

Well, another day spent in the hospital. A shorter and cooler one. The older I get, the more it stresses me out that seasons are a metaphor for life and death. Do I really have to be reminded of this and check off another box in the allotted time for life chart ever three months? Maybe not. Maybe I should just not think about it like most people. Probably.

So today in the hospital, I took care of two men--hospital neighbors--who were both mentally retarded and had both come from their usual group residence because their brains had started bleeding. Wierd, huh? I thought so. I felt sorry for them. They were both old and had probably had hard lives already, so I wonder if this was almost a merciful end for them? Death. Hard.

Darn it we're back on fall again.

Life-gum

Happy fun things: seeing two of my best friends ever dance with the loves of their lives to beautiful bluegrass music; watching Lucie falling over and running around in circles for joy because Mom came to visit; flower arrangement of tiger lilies, red roses and cool pink berries left for me by my boyfriend; cheering for same boyfriend while he outswam, outbiked and outran everybody else at the beach.

It's been a good few days. And the memories are delicious and long lasting. Like really good life-gum.

Birthday Gift

My how the thoughts are flowing this night shift. I had to go eat because I was starting to get sad again about my brother leaving us so soon. It is a happy thing. It's just hard to remember it's a happy thing sometimes. But it all got started when I was trying to think of the perfect birthday present for him and realized it had to be meaningful since he is leaving. But it all wound up happy when my lovely design blog friends helped me find a fun and non-meaningful gift. I can't say what it is 'til tomorrow.

So then I got going on fun little materialistic things from the design blogs. There are many pretty things out there and somehow on night shift it seems like little pretty things make life complete or at least exciting. I think it's just the hint they give towards towards capital "b" Beauty though.

I have not yet started to plan an apartment renovation, my wedding, or my life mission yet, but perhaps those will be next. I'll keep you posted.

Ahhh, night shift.

Night Shift

Well, as expected, I let my blog rot. Maybe night shift will revive it. For those of you who never stay awake for the both sides of the light around "all night long," I could share some thoughts about how it is. It is (knock on wood) boring up here tonight. They turn the lights mostly off which helps people sleep. Only nobody here is technically allowed to sleep. Either you are a patient who has their vital signs and neuro status checked every 2 hours or you are a nurse who has to do the checking. So the dim lights just remind us all what we wish we could be doing.

But there are cool things about being up all night. Like . . . well it makes you seem a little tough. Or maybe at least tougher than you were before you had never stayed up all night before. Like me before I became a nurse. Night shift itself is also nice and serene, and for the most part, people are less likely to disturb your blogging and make you go do anything yucky. There is also frequently a ready supply of junk food and magazines--things best enjoyed in the middle of the night. And there is this crazy phenomenon that affects me in the middle of the night in the hospital where I get very ambitious and hungry for daytime and write out fabulous lists of things I need to do to get my life in order. I do sometimes follow through on these lists too. Like when I made beaded brooches for some family members for Christmas. That was born on night shift. I think Lucie likes night shift better too. She does wonder what the problem is when I sleep the day away afterwards though.

Anyway. It's night shift. The blog has taken another breath.

I'll fly away

Today I watched my silver-haired little old lady wheel off down the nursing home hallway in search of home for the last time. Gerontological nursing clinical is over! For me that is. But Mary will just keep wheeling up and down the hallway, occasionally asking politely for directions home, probably for the rest of her life. It is heartbreaking when you think of it that way. But me and Mary also had some good laughs together. For instance, when she was trying to offer bites of her dinner to "Daddy" who is long deceased, and after persistently holding the spoon out to him despite my encouragement to eat it herself she finally concluded, "I don't think he's going to eat it." We both laughed long and hard over that one. She was also quite amused one morning to find that I was her student nurse. When I introduced myself and told her who I was, she burst into a smile and said, "That's funny!" I didn't get the joke, but her little chuckle is quite contagious. However, I think my favorite memory of her is a little more serious. I was trying to convince her to let me push her wheelchair for a walk outside one morning. She was courteously declining because she was in such a hurry to get home and didn't think she could stay for that long. I said, "Oh come on, just let me push you outside," to which she replied, "Why don't you push me home?" We laughed about that too, but as we were going down the hall, Mary began to sing. "One glad morning when this life is over, I'll fly away. To a land where joys will never end, I'll fly away." I had never heard her sing before that morning and she hasn't done it since. I hope and pray that soon she will get home to Momma and Daddy and a land where joys will never end.

One more check on the road to nursing list is done! But that is what it's all about.

get rich scheme

Get it . . . ? Haha. Paul says I am dorky, but I still think it is kind of funny. So you owe me at least one penny by now. And I am serious. Forget nursing. Blogging is where it is at. Ok well I will let you know if I think of anything else.